Oh, forgot this whole scheduling thing. If I wanna post on a Tuesday instead of a Sunday, I'm gonna go right ahead.
Today's post is about people who don't follow the rules. The mavericks and cowboys of American politics, they go charging into wars on made-up evidence, claiming to be the party of conservative spending while racking up huge debts, claiming to be the party of morality while refusing universal healthcare, high speed rail, equal marriage and oh god, who knows what else to their constituents. That's how hardcore they are. Wow. How could a party whose first president was Abraham Lincoln have gone so wrong?
A few of them have tried making music.
Let's start with the latest big Republican on the scene, Mitt Romney.
America The Beautiful
Hmm. Slightly out of key, strained, and going a bit far. All right, you love the United States. Then for the love of the United States, please don't sing on the campaign trail. Especially not in a key that's not in your range... See what I mean?: Romney singing Happy Birthday
Here he is saying "Who let the dogs out" at some voters. I'd say that counts as some semblance of music production... Is that your version of appealing to young people, or is it trying to 'get down' with the black community, Mitt? Can I call you Mitt? Can I make a pun and say that you should keep your "Mitt"s off of music? Eh? Oh, and the presidency, too.
Enough of that, on to some vintage hits from the Bush Administration.
John Ashcroft - Let The Eagle Soar
John Ashcroft was the only senatorial candidate in American history to have lost to a dead person, in his 2000 bid to retain his senate seat. Consequently, Bush appointed him Attourney General. He resigned in 2005, saying that "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved." Well, thank god for that. Now he has a lobbying group. He wrote that song. Somebody even covered it.
He was part of senatorial barbershop quartet "The Singing Senators." Love the American Flag waistcoats, guys:
At the time of that video, Senator Larry Craig had just been arrested for lewd behavior for soliciting for sex in a male restroom at the Minneapolis St. Paul airport. He still denies that he is in any way gay.
Karl Rove - MC Rove
Hoo boy. No wonder he also resigned from the Bush Administration in 2007. Just kidding, he did a bunch of other stuff that was really bad.
Colin Powell - YMCA parody
Here is a longer version of Powell's song. He's singing about the RPMC, or Regional Post Ministerial Conference, in case you were wondering.
Finally, here are some non-office-holding Republicans who may have slightly more musical ability, but only slightly. The Right Brothers, who mysteriously appeared in 2004 before Bush was re-elected, and now have dissolved just as mysteriously. With songs like "Bush Was Right" and "Stop Global Whining," they couldn't have been just another propoganda tool, Right?
I'm In Love With Anne Coulter
I can't force myself to listen to any more of their songs, but if you really want a lethal dose, try "Shut Up And Teach." Or how about "For My Country," which goes: "I've never served in the military / Or put my life on the line / ... / But I know of those who have / I've heard about them on FOX / which makes me qualified to write patriotic bullshit songs about war..." (I may have paraphrased.)
Next time: Democrats.